Black Lives Matter

Burning self out with writing

I started blogging in March 2020 (I was using MDBook to generate documentation like static sites). When I was moving to Pelican SSG, I also wanted to change the style of my writing to producer higher quality articles. That was little after Kev Quirk announced #100DaysToOffload concept. I thought that was a good time to participate in 100DaysToOffload.

There is nothing wrong with 100DaysToOffload. Problem was in my execution. I both wanted to write better and more frequently at the same time while still being a newbie at blogging. Spending around 8 hours a day on a blog post and thinking about what to write all the time isn't sustainable for me.

The point of #100DaysToOffload is to be a relaxing and cathartic experience. Not a worrisome affair where you’re thinking of things to write all the time.
Posts don’t need to be long-form, deep, meaningful, or even that well written. ... What’s important is that you’re writing about the things you want to write about.
- 100DaysToOffload

You see where my problem is! I just liked the idea of being part of a group that is consistent at something that I wasn't ready for. To be frank, I wrote. Sometimes on time, sometimes with delay. But I wrote. What hurts me is I feel like I gave up on my integrity whenever I postponed. I feel like I broke the promise I made even though nobody else asked for it. I finally burned myself out by thinking too much on this and putting mental pressure on me for writing more.

Now I am writing about possibly giving up entirely even though I don't want to. Maybe I should postpone it to a time when I feel better at writing more frequently. Or maybe I should write time to time without caring about how frequent the posts are and still tag them #100DaysToOffload because they will truly be on days I Offloaded.

Yes, I failed. I started writing this post with anger. As one usually does while writing, I started see more clearly. This is a growing pain and there is a lesson for me. I may not be happy for writing admitting it but I am glad for learning something.

Note: I made my mind. This will be take some break and return to writing at some point. There will very likely be varying amount of gaps between articles. I won't care. I only will write when I feel the need for it. Without burning myself out. About numbering though, Should I restart from 1 or continue with 32?

Day 31 (not last day) of #100DaysToOffload


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